Always
by Xstrawberry0fieldsforeverX
Summary: “You don’t belong here.” He’s wrong, and you know that he’s wrong because the only place you do belong is with him.


His eyes are the warmest brown color- just the way you remember them, and yet nothing like you remember. The smile in his eyes had vanished, and you could see nothing but emptiness in them. He wasn't smiling, and suddenly you feel like crying because that was the thing you missed most about him.

"You shouldn't be here," he says, and his voice sounds hollow; distant, his tone cold.

"I want to be here," you tell him, but it sounds childish, and you need to make him understand. He blinks, though his expression stays the same.

"You shouldn't be here," he repeats, but you're not listening and all you can think about is the way it felt when he held you in his arms and kissed you.

"I don't want to go back," you whisper, a tear cascading down you cheek, though you pretend not to notice. He notices, but cause that was him, and he hated watching you cry more than anything. He reaches out and wipes the tear away with his thumb, and his skin is cool to the touch, but you don't shiver because it was _his_ touch, and it still makes you feel warm inside.

"I'm tired of feeling so alone," you tell him quietly, but his expression still doesn't change, and you can only imagine he's feeling the same way. "I want to stay with you." He almost gives you a small smile, but then it changes back to his empty expression.

"You don't belong here." He's wrong, and you know that he's wrong because the only place you do belong is with him.

"Please…"

"Don't give up everything for me." He steps closer to you, reaches for your hand. " There are people who love you down there, waiting for you to come back." You can tell that he's trying to keep the same expressionless face because he doesn't want to give you more reason for wanting to stay. He fails, his voice shaky, lower lip trembling, a wistful expression now displayed on his face.

"I don't care about them," you snap, because you know going back you'll only be miserable and empty, feeling as though a part of you is missing. A part of you _is_ missing. There's a hole in your heart that only he can fill, and it keeps getting larger. He's not there to fix it for you, and it's killing you.

"Come on, Lib, what will the world do without their next famous brain surgeon… or first female… whatever it is that you'll become…?" He's trying to joke, but his smile falters, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "You can't do this to them."

"Why don't you want me to stay?" You meant to scream, but it came out as a sob, and now both of you are crying, and he's wrapping his arms around you, the way he used to; the way it should be.

"Liberty, believe me, you're the _only_ thing I want. We can't be selfish. You need to go back to you parents, to Emma, Manny, Toby, Danny…" He looks away for a second, then turns back to you, a sad smile formed on his tear stained cheeks. "Go back to them." You start to pull away, ready to scream at him, because you can't do that, and he doesn't understand, but he breathes two words that make you freeze in his arms. "For me."

You break down sobbing, and you can feel him running his fingers through your hair, telling you how much he loves you and misses you. And you decide to go back, if that's what he wants, though it makes no sense because neither of you will be happy that way.

"Can I stay with you for a while before I go?" he smiles and nods, and both of you are still crying, but it doesn't matter because you're with him and everything makes sense again.

Both of you lie down, his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. He smells just the way you remember. A mix of coffee (because he always drank so much of it with you) and that cheap cologne you used to make fun of him for wearing. This time, however, it brings a smile to your face, and you want to remember the scent forever.

"Hey, Liberty?" You look up, "Promise me you'll find someone else who makes you happy."

"Jt…" He only wants you to be happy, because it's just so typically _him_, but you can't imagine ever being happy without him.

"I'm serious. Find someone who can make you smile, and comfort you when you're sad. But I was your first. Remember me, okay? Even when you become a rich genius for finding the cure for cancer…"

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. All I want is to see you happy. Just promise you'll remember me."

"Always," you breathe, without hesitation, leaning in to kiss him. The second you meet his cool lips, you feel yourself being ripped away from him again. Everything fades to black, and you can hear someone sobbing and shrieking his name. You realize that it's you, and you can't help crying again because you didn't get to tell him you loved him, never got a chance to say goodbye.

You realize without opening your eyes that you're back, forced to deal with what happened, and he's no longer by your side. You can hear your parents talking, Danny too, and the persistent beeping of a heart monitor. The sickeningly familiar smell of a hospital fills your nostrils, and you hesitate to open your eyes because a part of you childishly believes that closing them long enough will bring him back to you.

Finally giving up hope, your eyelids crack open, and the room is a bleak white color that makes you feel even more alone. Dad looks angry, Danny too. Mom's been crying, you can tell. You almost apologize, because _he_ told you that you were still needed here, but you don't because the mere thought of him still brings tears to your eyes. And suddenly you're shouting at them, screaming that you want him and demanding that they leave you alone. You watch each of them leave the room without caring that you've hurt their feelings.

You become tired quickly, though, and your lids start to close, and even in your drowsy state, you're still very much aware of your surroundings. A familiar scent of coffee and cheap cologne fills your nostrils. You decide then that it's not just about remembering what he looked like, or how fun he was to be around, or the things you did together. It's about remembering the little things: the way he smelled, a joke or two that he told you, the way he cheered you up, the sound of his laugh, the way he tasted, or the way you felt in his arms. These were the things that would help heal the hole in your heart. These were the things that would make you keep your promise to him. You don't ever expect to forget them.

"_Always_," you breathe in your half- asleep state. You eyes are closed so you don't notice the transparent figure standing in the corner of the moonlit room, a sad smile on his face, wistful look in his eyes as he watches you sleep.

* * *


End file.
